Thankful #5: Loneliness

November 5th, 2017…

I am so thankful alone time.  Being an introvert (to whatever extreme people may think), and someone who is naturally to herself, finding time to be alone with no interruptions or responsibilities or anything is something I’m truly thankful for.

<><><>

Lord, I thank you for this day, whatever it brings.  Thank you for the times where I can steal away and be alone; no one else around, no interruptions of my thoughts, no extra noise…time to think and focus and evaluate.  Father, in these times that truly I am thankful for, I ask you, Lord, to allow me to use it wisely.  May I learn to give these times a purpose and a meaning, and not to get distracted with over-thinking, social media, movies, or music.  Help me not to completely zone out unless that’s what I need, because sometimes that’s just necessary.  Lord, may I enter these moments of solitude not to isolate myself and hide, but to pursue you and your word, your truth, and to grow as an individual.  May I use these moments of loneliness, away from the world and other people, to focus on you and reevaluate my life.  To grow my relationship with you which in the end is all that matters.  I am a very relational person, as you know, and I care deeply, often too deeply, for the people in my life.  So much so, Lord, that I give up what I need and what I desire for the happiness of those around me.  Father, assist me in the art of finding balance.  Balance between helping myself and helping other, between being with people and being alone, between analyzing and over-analyzing…help me, dear Lord, to find that balance that is so very crucial.  Thank you again for this day.  I love you, Lord Jesus and pray in your holy and precious name, Amen.

<><><>

Life is interesting to say the least, and when it piles up hanging over you like a monster, it’s quite simply the easiest thing to duck and hide from the world and everything to do with it.  I do this.  I am very good at “hiding”.  My truest thoughts, feelings, and emotions.  And from this exercise (if you will), which may I add I am NOT proud of or recommending to anyone, I have learned many things.  Firstly, you lose yourself.  What you love, what you need, what you believe, what you enjoy; who you are.  It all becomes muffled and fuzzy in your mind when you hide everything.  Secondly, it’s easy to give a false reputation of yourself because how to you defend and promote who you are if you don’t confidently know?!  No matter the sincerity, if you have let yourself get buried alive under thoughts, feelings and emotions, how do you represent yourself?  And lastly, you so easily begin to doubt.  God, family, yourself, the world and the meaning of life.  This, my friend, is also called “depression”.  I can best explain it like being stuck in a viscous cycle; a never ending circle where with all your might no matter how much you want to you just cannot seem to grasp reality.  You don’t believe in who you are, how big God is, and your own strength and ability.  I could go on and on, but I’ll save that for another time…

Moral of the story, and something I am trying to learn myself, is this…do NOT hide!  No matter how easy, no matter if you’ve convinced yourself it doesn’t matter, no matter if you may hurt someone, no matter what.  The truth is it’s the hard things that make us stronger, what bothers you whether it seem small or silly MATTERS, and you will most liking end up hurting someone and yourself even more if you hide.

Whether it’s shining light in the darkness, seeking forgiveness or an apology, doing what’s right in a sticky situation, or fill in the blank, seek counsel, speak out, let go, do what’s right, never ignore your gut, and take a big deep breath…everything is going to be okay…

Jenny~

Thankful #4: Creation

November 4th, 2017…

I am so thankful for creation.  SO THANKFUL!!!  The sky, the sun, the moon, the stars, the grass, the trees, the seasons, flowers, bugs, birds, human beings; every single intricately designed living thing that lives and breaths on this earth.  I am so so SO thankful!  Thankful for the magnificent beauty found in it all…it’s just fascinating, jaw-dropping, incredible, inspiring, and truly magical. ❤

<><><>

Today I went on a drive.  A looong drive.  It ended up being a beautiful two hour drive in a big figure-eight around where I live…guys, it was just what I needed and when I say beautiful, it was amazing *sigh*!!  The trees have not failed this fall to bring a tear to my eye with how beautiful they are!  They are all so vibrant, rich and colorful!  Even just around my home they are bright yellow, orange, and red and it makes my heart SO happy!  I drove around and just couldn’t help but smile the whole time; my windows down, my music on, and the perfect scenery surrounding me everywhere I turned…it was just so perfect.

Lord, I thank you for the time I got to spend exploring little roads right by my house and finding new places to watch sunsets and being able to witness your creation.  Father, I am in awe of what you have made!  Thank you for the eyes you’ve given me to see it and experience it!  There is so much beauty in this world, no matter the ugly, dirty, or darkness; Your light shines through always.  Thank you for the autumn weather, the cool breeze, the vibrant colors that make me feel so alive and excited and happy!  Truly, if there isn’t anything else to be happy about (which there is), seeing and being in your creation is enough.  Through what you’ve made you proclaim your power, ability, might, creativity, love, miracles, and so much more.  Help us to see the beauty in this world and in each other when things get ugly.  Allow us to help each other see the beauty in your creation and in your word and in your truth!  May we seek to be an example and light to those who cross our paths.  Open our minds and hearts to love, know, learn more, desire, and live for You, Lord!  Inspire us to live a life that reflects your grace, love, and magnificent glory!  I love you and thank you again for this day, the drive, the trees changing, and the promises that everything, no matter what happens, will be okay…there is no need to fear while we are in Christ, except for the power of God; may we respect and fear you, Lord, for you are capable of anything and everything!  It s in Jesus name I pray, Amen.

<><><>

Hello!  So, during these thankful posts I will be sorting out some other posts as well, and if you haven’t noticed, some days might pile up on each other depending on my schedule.  I’m going through pictures trying to re-organize them (and my whole life, really), so I’m excited to get things rolling on my photography blog as well.  I hope you are able to see and enjoy the beautiful changes during this autumn!!  I encourage you to take a drive, a walk, a road trip even, and soak it all up. ❤

Happy weekend!

Jenny~

Thankful #3: Truth

November 3rd, 2017…

I am so thankful for the truth!  I am so thankful for the freedom there is found in the truth!  There is no lie great enough that trumps the light of the truth, and light will be shed on the truth, no matter what.  “Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”.”-John 8:31-32

<><><>

Dear God, thank you for your truth!  For your word which is the truth, whole truth, and nothing but the truth!  You are so faithful in your word though truly you are serious about it as well.  Nothing is sugar-coated, and I am SO thankful for that!  No matter how we try to go about sugar-coating things; Lord may we be convicted of that and have the confidence and boldness to share your word exactly how it is written.  Thank you for the capacity of our feeble human minds!  The very thought that you have equipped us to be able to grasp even a little bit of your word is so amazing and I am so grateful to you for trusting me to read, learn, know, love, and share your precious word.  You are incredible and I love you!  I love you so much!  Thank you for your great, unfailing, love for us.  It is in your precious name I pray, Amen.

 

Jenny~

Thankful #2: Fellowship

November 2nd, 2017…

I am so thankful for my family and friends.  My family is my group of friends most of the time, but that’s easier said for me because I have five brothers and six sisters!  Truly I love that I can call my family my friends because, generally speaking, family is forever. ❤  I am thankful for each one of my siblings, and my parents, individually as well as together; it is the strongest team and support system.  Also I am so thankful for my friends who are not blood related.  Many have left and I’ve had to let go, but to those who have stayed…wow!  I am so thankful and grateful them and for their different perspectives, encouragement, support, advice, company, getting together, study, and all the other things that my family can possibly never offer!

<><><>

Thank you, sweet Jesus, for my family!  I thank you for my parents and for their guidance and love, for the freedom they have given me to follow the desires I have for the things I want to do in this life, and for their wisdom that allows me to humble myself in knowing there is so much road to travel in my life before I can declare to truly “get” or understand anything.  Thank you for my siblings, for the additions to our family, and for the future additions as well; I am thrilled to find out who gets to be a part of this family that I love.  I thank you for the friends throughout my life.   Thank you for those who have stayed as well as those who haven’t.  Thank you for the lessons I’ve learned from both parties and continue to learn more and more from.  I life up to you, Father, my family and friends, and Lord, I give them to you completely, for you are mighty to save, you love us ultimately, and you are the only one who can truly help any of us, protect us, and make us into who you created us to be.  May we all be inspired by each other to seek just that; who you created us to be and why you’ve put us on this earth, in each others lives.  You are magnificent!  I love you, Lord!!  Thank you again for these people I know and those I have yet to meet, for the fellowship they offer, and the life we get to experience together.  May the bonds of those meant to be become stronger and unbreakable, may we stand up, encourage and help each other, be faithful, true and accountable to one another, and not let our brothers and sisters isolate themselves no matter how uncertain, scary or hopeless life becomes.  Make us strong so we can shine brightly together for you!  Thank you.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

 

Jenny~

Thankfulness

Day 1 of 23 days of thanksgiving…

The next 23 days I will be giving thanks for things I am truly thankful for, and here I will share them.  It is important to realize the things we are thankful for and to remember the faithfulness of our God!  No matter what happens in opposition of what we want or think is best, He is faithful and works things out for our good.

<><><>

November 1st, 2017:

I am so thankful for God’s forgiveness!  No matter how difficult it has been to find the true humility to come to God with my sins, every day, and recognize how I’ve fallen short, every day, I know though it’s hard to fathom sometimes, that He loves me SO much and forgives me for being human, but also expects me to take the appropriate steps to recover and change and will assist me in doing so.

<><><>

Thank you, Lord, for your forgiveness!  Thank you for seeing my heart in the mire of the world around me.  Thank you for your Son who gave his very own, sinless, spotless, pure and perfect life for a very sin filled, dirty, impure and imperfect one.  Thank you for the compassion, grace, patience, love, and care you pour out on us, as well as the challenges, trials, and growth you discomfort we face to make us grow and change for the better.  Thank you for the security we have in Christ and for truth of your word and who you are!  Thank you for the plan and the path for my life; I have full faith that no matter which direction I go, you will meet me there and lead me to and from opportunities, experiences, people, places and things, and, Father, I ask that you lead me in truth, guide me in Your wisdom and knowledge, and help me on this journey to defeat my battles and change and grow to be as much like Christ as I can be and to do your will and share your love and truth with as many people as I can.  In all things I pray and ask that you protect those in my life from any way I could hurt them.  Allow me to see where I am wrong and humble admit it and seek out forgiveness where it is due.  Protect me from myself, Lord!  I can be my worst enemy.  Again, I thank you for your forgiveness; if you can forgive us then we should never be afraid of another persons ability or inability to forgive.  May we humble ourselves, love others, and strive to be more like you ever moment.  I love you, Father, and pray in Jesus name, Amen.

<>*<>*<>

UPDATE: Hello blog!  Long time no write, right?!  As always, my intentions are pure when it comes to composing blog posts and sharing life on this virtual platform, but that also takes brain power and time; two things I have not had enough discipline with.  Time management I’ve found is not an easy trait I have developed, and my brain has been very overwhelmed lately with life and quite honestly the thought of adding anything extra to have to think about hurts my brain, so!

Having this blog it has been a place for me to simply unload and just write and share things.  It has been a resource for myself mainly, not an outlet for many other to find and use.  I’ve used this blog as an outlet for documenting and discovering things about myself and life and I appreciate those who have followed along; thank you.

This year (which I cannot believe is almost over and do NOT look forward to getting any older if time passes any faster then this year has!) has been very interesting and very taxing and very emotional and very stretching.  I have learned so much about so many things, and I have SO MUCH ROOM TO GROW!!!  I’ve truly begun to learn that you never stop growing and learning and discovering, and it is a sad day if you ever get to the point where you think you’ve “got it all figured out”, because quite frankly my dear, you never truly will.  Even the very depth of your being you will most likely never fully grasp (which is why I am SO thankful God knows every inch of me and I can put complete trust in Him).  It is mind boggling, aggravating, and amazing how it all works.  Mind boggling at how vast, deep and wide life is and how small we are.  Aggravating for an analytical perfectionist like myself who wants all the answers and how to’s and doesn’t like to mess up.  Amazing that there is a God, the creator of heaven and earth, who knows everything and we truly do not have reason to fear, doubt, worry, or dwell on the past or future, even though that is what we do!  That is our flesh, fallen, human instinct and struggle.  Yo, the struggle is real!!

I encourage you hopefully by anything I’ve shared today, but mainly to seek out time to go to God this month leading up to Thanksgiving (appropriate, I know) and thank Him for all He has done!  For the sun and the moon, friends, family, books, food; whatever means something to you.  Dig deep and spend time in thanksgiving.

Also, I want to say with all that’s going on in my “battlefield of the mind” so to speak, that I am growing , learning and finally taking those steps to get out of my comfort and just be.  Just be present, honest, kind, true, loving, genuine, serious, emotional, excited for life, wise, decisive, positive, joyful in the Lord, encouraging, helpful, purposeful, and other things; one step at a time.  AND that it’s okay to move slow and take things one step at a time and that I will experience many uncomfortable things if I desire to grow and move forward, etc, so *gulp*, here I am, Lord.  I am yours. ❤

Blessings to you,

Jenny~

Prayer for America

Dear God, I pray for my country. Lord, I ask for the eyes of the American citizens to be opened, for the laws, values, and freedoms put in place by our founding fathers to be remembered and respected, for us to stand together as brothers and sisters to protect this amazing nation from those trying to harm it, and to share your love and your light to those who have not yet experienced it. Father, open our hearts, individually, to the issues in this world and show us how we can make a positive difference. Where there is loss, let us bring your comfort to someone, where there is abuse, let us bring hope of your healing hands! Where there is hate, may we give the example of ultimate, limitless, unfailing, love. Where there is loss, may the great gain of Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior fill any emptiness. May our lives be beams of your grace, mercy, forgiveness and love to all those in our paths, especially right now when there is so much tension, negativity, hate, disrespect, abuse, pain, loss, hurt, sadness, and fear in this world. We live in a fallen world and will until Jesus comes back! But God, I ask you to instill hope in all of us, that Your will be done, that your hand will be upon those who declare Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Be with those who do not know you as Savior. Father, as we, America, head to a very important election, I just ask you to allow us to focus on what’s important for the protection and survival of this country. May we do our part in selecting a leader most likely to protect this country and allow You to lead. May we, the people, stand together on the important issues…most importantly our freedoms. Freedom of religion, speech, choice, action, belief, thought, love; freedom in general! You have given us this country to live freely within, to have opportunities, to prosper and grow, and it is amazing what you’ve allowed this amazing country to do! May we, Father, be deserving of keeping this country great and keeping You a part of it; the most important part of it. People have forgotten you, God. Your people have failed to live in fear of the Lord and instead live in fear of this world just like everyone else; fear of money, man, life, death, health, wealth, pain, sorrow, hopelessness, etc. Set a fire within your people, God, may we stand up strong for Your names sake and bold for our country’s sake! We need to protect the United States of America from the evil lurking around the corner, but most of all, we need You! Be with us, Lord. I love you and pray in Jesus’ name, Amen!

<><><><><>

This is a prayer that comes from my whole heart.  I love my country and I am very proud to have been born and raised in the United States of America.  I’m proud to be a citizen of a country that is based on freedom for all.  I do not want to see my country be beaten and torn and disrespected and ruined, nor watch my family or friends live in a country that seems to be “giving up”.  We MUST stand together to fight for this nation, one nation under God, and to protect it from all evils.  We must make America safe again; safe, great, free, and a country that honors our Lord and respects itself as well.  God bless AMERICA…land of the free, home of the brave.

Blessings and much love,

Jennifer~

Sunday-Fun Day!

June 5th, 2016: Blog Entry…

So, today wasn’t really a “fun” day, but fun day rhymed with Sunday and, well, you gotta love a good rhyme!

Today I played ukulele and read my bible.  I’d say it was a very good day that I was content with.  After bible reading, ukulele playing, going through some emails and running down the stairs to eat the last orange cinnamon roll, I washed my hair and painted my nails.  Oh yeah!

Honestly today has been super lazy and laid back.  Can’t complain, won’t complain.  Tomorrow is the start to another week, and BOY will I have something to report about tomorrow!  Just wait, if there’s anyone out there reading…

<><><>

Hmmm…God is so good.  Every time I am fearful or doubtful of humanity, I can turn to the Bible and find so much truth and reassurance!  Thank you, Lord, for your reassurance and truth and most of all for your desire to have a relationship with you people!  You’ve created humans in your image, with almost limitless capability.  You are amazing, God, and I am truly honored to be a part of your creation!  Thank you, Father!  I love you and ask for your blessings upon us this coming week, be with those who do not know you as savior and open their minds and hearts to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit.  I pray in Jesus name, Amen!

<><><>

Have a wonderful evening and a glorious Monday!  Let’s see what this week has in store for us.

Jenny~

Traveling Soul

Hello blog!  I will be pushing pause on my Pixie Haircut Journey because I’m going on a trip!

Tomorrow we leave for, well…somewhere far far away.  Once I get there I will share.  I’ll be posting pictures on Jennafifi and also on Jennafifi Photography.  I am very excited and nervous as well because this will be my first time in an airplane!  I’ll be praying a lot, that’s for sure.

<><><>

Lately I’ve been inspired to write and draw and read…I want to work on some songs, poems and stories, I want to sing and draw little doodles.  Drawing is not really my “thing”, but sometimes I just really want to draw!  Anyway!

I’m very excited about my trip and about the opportunity and I hope the whole experience is amazing and a blessing, if I may be so bold to say.  When I return there are plenty of things for me to do and get started with which are also very exciting, so HOPEFULLY I will get my act together and blog more, because I love blogging, and work on my photography and embark on more new things and adventures!

Here’s to the trip!  Lord, in Jesus sweet name, be with us and keep us safe!  Thank you for your blessings and this opportunity for me.  Bless it, Lord, and bring us to our destination and bring me back home safely, Father.  Amen!

Oh yeah, look at this baby!  He’s so ADORABLE! ❤  Words cannot express the joy he brings to my heart and the love I have for my little nephew #3!

God bless and see you at our destination…

Jenny~

P.S. Fall is almost here!  I can’t believe it, but I also can’t wait!

Worship

Just a bit of praise and worship on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.  This morning was a bit aggravating for me, but now that I’m home and I can take a deep breath, everything is ok.  Everything is fine.

Lord, open up our eyes, let us see the truth in your word and be able to trust it and know that You are good and that You are always there.  I love you.  Thank you for Your love and Your blessings.  Thank you for this beautiful day.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

Enjoy this song called “Open Up Our Eyes” by Evelation Worship.  I really love their music.

Jenny~

Independence (and rambling thoughts…)

Hello Blog!  How are you???  I say that as if my blog can speak.  Silly me.

Well, it has been a while since I’ve been on a nice blogging schedule and I have missed it so much.  My time lately has not been used well and I’ve been thinking much more then living and I can only say that it’s much better to live then to sit and ponder away!  I’ve let my thoughts wonder here and there and I have not kept my focus on God, but that is my goal.  I want more then anything to live each day acknowledging the Lord, my Creator and Savior because He deserves it 101%!  In my heart there is deep love for Him, but my life and actions haven’t shown that; or at least I don’t feel like they have.

No, nothing is wrong, I’m not doing anything “bad”, I just am in one of those extremely stuck places where you just don’t know what to believe or what to trust or where to go!  But I’ve realized that I need to believe the Bible and it’s truths, trust in Christ and Christ alone, and follow God through this life that He has given me; through this new life in Jesus Christ!  I need to realize everyday that I am made new.  The old has passed away; behold the new has come (2 Corinthians 5:17).

So, that’s where I’ve been; stuck in my head! 🙂  I’ve taken so many pictures to post and have ad so many ideas for my blog and never did anything with them.  I hate that, but instead of thinking of all the things I didn’t do, I’m going to start by just doing it.  Just Do It.  I know Nike uses that as their motto, but it’s very true and I’ve kind of used that for my quote this year along with various anchor bible verses!  Just do it, Jenny!  Don’t be afraid!

Now I’m talking to myself.

It is July 4th, 2015.  I am very happy that I grew up in America which is a beautiful country in this world that God gave us back in 1620 to live in freedom and peace, and although today you never know what could happen in this country, or the world, I am still happy to have grown up in America.  God Bless America is a statement I say sincerely with all my heart.

There is something else I have figured out about myself.  I am having a hard time comprehending this.  If you are in Christ, meaning you asked Jesus to save you from your sins, you are not of this world.  This is something I know and have always known, but never really realized I guess.  Am I making sense (this post might be a rambler!)??  No matter what happens in this world, no matter who you love or the people and things you care about in this world, we are promised eternity in God our Creator in Heaven to one day be apart of the new heavens and the new earth.  That is what boggles my mind and kind of scares me only because I don’t have a good understanding about it.  God is in control of this world, but he gave us freedom and a choice therefore things happen, people make bad decisions and life is crazy sometimes.  Anyway.  Just another thought I’ve had!

So many things go on in this world and I’ve been wasting my energy, care, concern and time on “What’s going to happen next?”!!  Yes, God’s creation is amazing; jaw dropping.  It is a blessing to live in His amazing world, but this is not our eternity.  This is not what I need to dwell on and focus on every day.  Mainly I’m writing this for myself to look at and read and realize!  So, if you don’t finish reading this that’s ok!  If you do, I hope it was worth it to you and I appreciate it.

There are so many little things in this life that I desire to learn, do, experience, etc.  I get scared thinking “God isn’t going to allow me to do these things!”  but I forget that even though in this life certain things are dear to me, my purpose is not only to learn and experience things in this life.  I believe every Christian is meant to share the truth with people, Salvation and the bible with people so that more and more of God’s creation can spend eternity in heaven.

With all these thoughts let out, and plenty more to share, I will end here for today.  I am going to post more.  I really like posting pictures and I’ve been discouraged from that because our internet is really slow and I can never load them so that’s one other reason I haven’t been posting, not that it matters. 🙂

Thank you for sticking around or for stopping by today!  God bless you, and Lord please lead me and guide me and give my mind peace from all of these thoughts, in Jesus name!  Bless us today as we celebrate our independence from England and show us your glory every single day.  I love you and pray these things in Jesus name.  Amen.

Stay safe and have a wonderful day!

Much love,

Jenny~