A Different Perspective

The image or quote above is one that I shared on social media 4 years ago.  Back then, I was 4 years younger!  Today I have a different perspective, so I wanted to share that with you today.  Also, I won’t apologize for the neglect of this blog, however I have greatly missed posting and hope to revisit the idea of posting more often and kind of restructuring this blog; maybe even turn it into something new!  Anyway…

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“Coulda, woulda, shoulda…what if…if only…but…”

Sometimes situations happen in life where all you can think are the things above or “why did that have to happen or end?”, and in those moments usually you feel extremely discouraged, sad, disappointed, depressed, hopeless, upset, angry, pointless, meaningless, to name a few. There is almost nothing worse than building up towards something to then see it crash to the ground in some way, without reason, and you have to start all over. Whether that’s a career, a relationship, your health, anything…it can be really disheartening

What God has revealed to me (slowly but surely) as I have gone through many disappointments and “why” moments is that He is so much bigger than I can ever even begin to imagine, that His purpose and blue print for my life is so much more precise, meaningful, vast and important than I may ever know and certainly better than anything I could contrive, and that when things have failed, when I feel that I’ve failed, God is giving me many opportunities:

• 1) To trust and depend on Him in the midst of disappointment from the world; to keep my focus on eternity!
• 2) To humble myself and surrender the desires to achieve and succeed and accomplish, etc, whatever things keep failing; to desire HIM first and foremost!
• 3) To remember that He is refining me through the trials even more than through the good times because it is there that I’m at the lowest and most vulnerable place.
• 4) To know that He is protecting me from what He knows is not right for my life no matter how much I want it or think otherwise!
• 5) Reiterating that at all times, in every situation and circumstance I can TRUST in and believe that Jesus Christ is all that I need, no matter how deep my desires are; He needs to be my deepest desire because I am His. He deeply desires my heart, mind, attention, focus, and obedience.

Lastly, I’ve learned (the hard way) that there IS a worse thing than being disappointed, let down, or failing, and that is choosing to be defeated and stuck because of your “failures”, not getting back up, trying again, moving on, letting go, or not trusting that God is faithful and has our best interest at heart.

We may never know why something didn’t work out or why that thing never happened or that person left our lives, but we don’t need to know when we have a Father in heaven who knows every detail, cares completely, and loves us so deeply.  I’m thankful for Jesus and that He never leaves nor forsakes me especially when I feel that I have failed Him immensely.  He’s always there for you, too, so don’t be afraid to trust in Him. ❤

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Merry (almost) Christmas!

Jenny~

Long Time Coming (week 2 of 52)

Recap:

So, this past Monday I began an exciting new journey!!  I am officially *drum roll, please*…a music teacher!!  A very excited one at that!

This has been a LONG time coming; just had to wait for the right time and opportune moment, and it did, indeed, arrive.  It was about 5 years ago that my own music lessons subsided.  I took piano lessons for at least 6 years, guitar lessons for 8 years, and voice lessons for the last 3-5 years (still taking voice!)…I can’t remember!  Either way, music is a very big part of my life and who I am.  In and of itself, music is magic; that is the only appropriate word to associate with the wonders of music!  There is so much to learn and refresh my mind about going into teaching.  I haven’t been in lessons as a student for a while now, so you could say I’m a bit rusty in the theory/terminology department…

In case you haven’t caught on, I am a musician (haha!).  Guitar and piano are my main instruments, as well as my voice, and I play ukulele, and am learning dulcimer and mandolin!  One day I would love to learn the harp as well as more percussion instruments.  Though I’ve not had music lessons myself recently, I keep up with playing by performing locally and through my church, collaborating with siblings and friends, and have been recording as well which is SO fun!

The last 3-4 weeks I’ve been preparing for this new adventure, new chapter, new journey, and I’m just so excited!!  I expect to learn more than my students and I’m very grateful for the Lord opening this door!

To view some of my music, click here: http://www.soundcloud.com/jennifer-barger-7

Any who!

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With all that said, there have been many days where I wake up and wonder “What am I doing in/with my life?  What am I doing with my time?  Where is my heart?  What are my true passions?  WHY isn’t everything blatantly obvious and clear as day so I don’t question my existence all the time?!?!?!“…as dramatic as that sounds, it’s true.  I question myself and life quite often, especially in times of feeling like I have no direction or goal to go towards.  Let me tell you, having multiple interests or abilities is not easy.  Especially if you’re like me: very organized, detail oriented, pretty perfectionist person with many interests who doesn’t want to fail at even one, doesn’t know where to start, and wants to know and do every little thing to complete excellence all at the same time!  There are so many things I love to do, but often wish I just had one interest or hobby to focus on and be really good at; I suppose the balance of having multiple interests is something to work towards this year.

It is inevitable not to fail, and mistakes will be made, time will be spent and seemingly wasted sometimes, and then you find yourself in those depths of despair moments asking “what is life?”, haha…but that’s okay.

IT IS OKAY!

Reality Check: You do not need to be perfect; that’s unrealistic anyway.  You do not need to know 110% how to do every single thing!  You just need to go.  Start.  Do what you know you love now, be open to opportunities and experiences that might sound odd or different at first.  Take a chance on a dream and see what happens.  You never know until you start, and that is one of the BIGGEST lessons life has been teaching me through the years!  Where God has me, today, right now, is exactly where He wants me and even needs me, and it is okay if the high standards and expectations I’ve set for myself haven’t been reached yet.  It is okay if my life is going at a different pace than others.  It is okay if there are big, or small, set backs throughout my journey.  It is okay…

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To be honest for a moment, I sort of lost my main train of thought with this post!!  It came to me, but then it got all jumbled in my head…so hopefully the above makes sense!  There are many topics I am eager to incorporate in these posts, and each week will be different; either a recap of the week, an intro to a coming week, a mind dumb, a bible study, specific topic of interest, a prayer, etc…just hoping to be inspired again to share through writing; it is one of my favorite things and has been very missed!!

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Here’s to week 3…I’m excited for this week as I take the next 5 days to retreat to the mountains away from most technology and the busyness of life!  Father, I ask for you to use this time away from every day stresses and schedules to open my heart and my mind to know you more, to trust you more, and to let go much much MUCH more of the worries of this world.  You are good, Lord, and you are using all these trivial things in life for our good.  Thank you for your faithfulness!  Thank you for your love for us and for your truth which, if we humble ourselves, will set us free.  Bless those who have stopped by today to read this post.  May you be a present and living and breathing source of joy, peace, healing, and love in their lives this week.  I love you, Lord, and pray in Jesus’ name, amen!

Jenny~

A Hot Minute…

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“There are so many things to reflect on in life. This past year to date was a very interesting time for me…”

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Hello blog!! It’s been a hot minute.  The consistency of writing and sharing virtually has not been a reality in my life the last year or more, if you haven’t noticed.  But here I am, July 9th, 2018; here to share with you as I sit and reflect on recent experiences in life…

A year ago, July 2017, was a very very, what’s the word…surreal time.  Have you ever felt like you are just an empty body watching life pass by with no way to interact; like you’ve lost all ability to connect to your life, to God, to people?  Well that’s a glimpse of my state of mind a year ago.  The year before last I went through something really emotionally and mentally painful and draining and it took a full year (plus some) to see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak.  I didn’t not handle well what I went through, but let me assure you that it was nothing life threatening or crazy, but simply and sadly a common pain many people have felt; it was just my first time feeling it and it hurt so badly…hmmm…

That was almost two years ago now!  Time flies guys; I don’t like how fast time passes away.  Anyway.  Last year (summer 2017) I went through a different situation, but again a very emotionally and mentally stressful and exhausting one!  Not handling the year before well, I never fully dealt with things and really clung to the pain I had gone through and therefore was just completely zeroed out!  The second time around though, I have had a better grip and perspective on the “healing process”.  Though it’s been a hard year to say the least, I have been able to focus more on the positive, on the growth and learning opportunities, and on the many reasons why God is so amazing and we shouldn’t EVER be afraid of what life throws at us; preaching to myself here because still that’s a difficult thing at times and easy to forget in the midst of a trial.

I was resistant against changing, against growth and believing in myself that I’m not
“worthless” and that I haven’t ruined my every chance at living a marvelous life.  But truly by the grace of God, the last two years have molded me and changed me and made me a young woman who finally is learning to grasp the concept that my past, my failures, my mistakes, and my pain don’t define me.  Jesus’ blood is spilled over each individual wrongdoing and impurity in my life…still learning how to fully grasp that because it’s mind blowing!

Also, I’ve realized that life is kinda about these tough experiences and how we deal with them…you go through experiences and learn, and God often uses those experiences not only to reveal Himself and help you grow, but to help other people in your life as well; so we can relate and share with people who may be going through something similar.  It’s all in how we handle what life, what God, throws at us.  We can either hold grudges, dwell over the past, ignore things, etc, or we can take a deep breath, confront and deal with the issue, and learn very valuable things that will further help us in life and help others!

The biggest thing I’ve learned out of the many things that have been revealed to me recently is that I can trust myself, I am so very capable because of Christ, I never need to be ashamed of who I am, and the things I’m afraid of are not going to kill me.  ALSO!  I have a very amazing, big, powerful, merciful, forgiving, caring, loving, mighty, gracious, faithful, reliable, honest, true, real and awesome God, and for that I am truly truly grateful.

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I write these things half holding my breath because summertime has brought some heavy loads the last few years!  My prayer is that whatever I’ve shared, even though not in complete detail, is able to help someone, to bring hope and comfort and assurance that you are not alone. ❤  No matter what…

Also, though some things above may sound dramatic or extreme, I promise nothing too crazy or horrible has happened in my life.  There are people who have suffered much more greatly!  But again, perspective is everything, and even though situations or circumstances may not be exact, the feelings and experiences mentally and emotionally or even physically and spiritually, are valid and relatable.  That’s one of the amazing gifts God has shared with us; the ability to empathize, understand, relate to, and encourage each other as we all go through life dealing with and experiencing things.

Thank you, Lord, for your mercy, grace, and faithfulness.  I have a looong way to go from here, but I am forever grateful for your great love for me!  How you see me as worthy, as righteous, I will never understand; but thank you for your Son, Jesus Christ, perfect and blameless and completely without sin, who came to give up his perfect life to take on my filth, shame, pain, sin-filled life, bore it and every other persons debts on the cross, to give each of us the opportunity to be made right before God, the reason you see us blameless and pure because you see your Son and what he bore for our sake.  Thank you for the gift of Salvation; for the Holy Spirit who dwells within those who call upon the name of Jesus!  Open our eyes and speak to our hearts, especially those who do not know you; reveal yourself to those who don’t know you.  May they realize you are the missing piece to their puzzle and the reason they are alive!  Amen.

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Thank you for reading.  Until next time…

Sincerely,

Jenny~

International Women’s Day

So, here’s the “scoop”…women are amazing!  We were each created with such an amazing role to fill in this world.  Each one of us has a purpose and the ability to achieve that purpose.  But we wouldn’t be here without some extraordinary men.

For example: if Christopher Columbus didn’t cross the ocean to find a new land, well, none of these “feminist”, “girls run the world” women of today’s modern age would have the freedom to so strongly voice their opinions on how much we “don’t need men”.  Also, the women of today wouldn’t be alive without men because they are half of the reason we were each born into this world (you know what I mean)!  Men and women alike have such important and specific roles to fill in life.  YES the world has put women in a box throughout history saying we can and cannot do such and such; there are stereo types, and horrible or unnecessary things that happen in this world to the all different women, but we must remember too that this world is fallen and messed up and twisted.

If we truly desire to be a people, a nation, of equality, then we must learn how to work together, how to encourage each other in our passions, and how to live out the individual role and purpose that has been set before us as men and women.  At the end of the day, once you strip everything away, we are quite equal and have one goal; to honor God.

God has created us, male and female He created us (Genesis 5:1-2), to honor Him and do His will.  Men have their “job/place” and so do women, but that does not mean we as women should be in bondage to men, that we should have lesser opportunities, or that we can do nothing!  On the contrary, because of Christ we are capable of anything by His strength!  I don’t want to be empowered by women because women fail; humans fail!  They are not dependable.  But I do want to be empowered by Jesus Christ, so that I may come alone side other women, and encourage them and show them the greatest man and greatest love of all; Jesus.

There’s my two cents on the day…happy international women’s day!  I am proud to be a woman, and so grateful for the amazing strong women in my life past, presently, and to come, and I am so thankful for the love of Christ for each of us women and the very individual and important role each of us have to advance His kingdom in ways a man cannot; but also I thank you, Lord, for the strong men who have paved the road before us, and the women who supported and helped them, so we now have the freedom to speak, to dream, to pursue a career and our passion in life and to have a voice which can be heard.

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“But, ladies, you must answer too, what would we do with out ’em?…”

(song from Kiss Me Kate ‘I Hate Men’)

This post is dedicated to the amazing women I am blessed to call my mother and sisters.  I love you all and thank you for being amazing examples, influences, and encouragement in my life. ❤

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~ “…When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God.  Male and female he created them..” Genesis 5:1-2

~ “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.  She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:25

~ “And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.” Luke 1:45

~ “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your words; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:14

~ “You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” Song of Solomon 4:7

 

Jennifer~

Thankful #8: A Good Read

PHOTO BACK STORY!!

So, this picture was taken four (4) years ago for a post I was composing about books.  I came across it sorting through all my pictures and thought I’d use it for today. 🙂

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November 8th, 2017…

I am so thankful for BOOKS!  As silly as that sounds, they are something to be grateful for.  All the nights my mother read bedtime stories and I sat on my bed imagining the whole thing; it felt so real.  I’m thankful for the stories that are true and made up, for knowledge and wisdom you can gain, for facts, fantasy, characters; a land you can get lost in.  I am so thankful for books and how they smell (yes, seriously!), and I just love books! ❤

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Lord, Thank you for the wisdom and knowledge we can learn and retain from ready books!  Thank you for all the lessons and endless wisdom and truth found in the bible!  Books are so wonderful whether they are fairy stories or real stories and I am so thankful, Father, for the ability to read and comprehend and understand the words written within the pages of a book.  The capacity you have created for our brains is so incredible and amazing, Father!!  To think we were made in your image and have the ability to know you, God…I am so completely humbled by this.  That you would even care to know me makes me want to cry tears of joy!  Thank you!  May we never belittle how special and fun and important our ability to read and comprehend is!  Amen.

Jenny~

Thankful #5: Loneliness

November 5th, 2017…

I am so thankful alone time.  Being an introvert (to whatever extreme people may think), and someone who is naturally to herself, finding time to be alone with no interruptions or responsibilities or anything is something I’m truly thankful for.

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Lord, I thank you for this day, whatever it brings.  Thank you for the times where I can steal away and be alone; no one else around, no interruptions of my thoughts, no extra noise…time to think and focus and evaluate.  Father, in these times that truly I am thankful for, I ask you, Lord, to allow me to use it wisely.  May I learn to give these times a purpose and a meaning, and not to get distracted with over-thinking, social media, movies, or music.  Help me not to completely zone out unless that’s what I need, because sometimes that’s just necessary.  Lord, may I enter these moments of solitude not to isolate myself and hide, but to pursue you and your word, your truth, and to grow as an individual.  May I use these moments of loneliness, away from the world and other people, to focus on you and reevaluate my life.  To grow my relationship with you which in the end is all that matters.  I am a very relational person, as you know, and I care deeply, often too deeply, for the people in my life.  So much so, Lord, that I give up what I need and what I desire for the happiness of those around me.  Father, assist me in the art of finding balance.  Balance between helping myself and helping other, between being with people and being alone, between analyzing and over-analyzing…help me, dear Lord, to find that balance that is so very crucial.  Thank you again for this day.  I love you, Lord Jesus and pray in your holy and precious name, Amen.

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Life is interesting to say the least, and when it piles up hanging over you like a monster, it’s quite simply the easiest thing to duck and hide from the world and everything to do with it.  I do this.  I am very good at “hiding”.  My truest thoughts, feelings, and emotions.  And from this exercise (if you will), which may I add I am NOT proud of or recommending to anyone, I have learned many things.  Firstly, you lose yourself.  What you love, what you need, what you believe, what you enjoy; who you are.  It all becomes muffled and fuzzy in your mind when you hide everything.  Secondly, it’s easy to give a false reputation of yourself because how to you defend and promote who you are if you don’t confidently know?!  No matter the sincerity, if you have let yourself get buried alive under thoughts, feelings and emotions, how do you represent yourself?  And lastly, you so easily begin to doubt.  God, family, yourself, the world and the meaning of life.  This, my friend, is also called “depression”.  I can best explain it like being stuck in a viscous cycle; a never ending circle where with all your might no matter how much you want to you just cannot seem to grasp reality.  You don’t believe in who you are, how big God is, and your own strength and ability.  I could go on and on, but I’ll save that for another time…

Moral of the story, and something I am trying to learn myself, is this…do NOT hide!  No matter how easy, no matter if you’ve convinced yourself it doesn’t matter, no matter if you may hurt someone, no matter what.  The truth is it’s the hard things that make us stronger, what bothers you whether it seem small or silly MATTERS, and you will most liking end up hurting someone and yourself even more if you hide.

Whether it’s shining light in the darkness, seeking forgiveness or an apology, doing what’s right in a sticky situation, or fill in the blank, seek counsel, speak out, let go, do what’s right, never ignore your gut, and take a big deep breath…everything is going to be okay…

Jenny~

Thankful #4: Creation

November 4th, 2017…

I am so thankful for creation.  SO THANKFUL!!!  The sky, the sun, the moon, the stars, the grass, the trees, the seasons, flowers, bugs, birds, human beings; every single intricately designed living thing that lives and breaths on this earth.  I am so so SO thankful!  Thankful for the magnificent beauty found in it all…it’s just fascinating, jaw-dropping, incredible, inspiring, and truly magical. ❤

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Today I went on a drive.  A looong drive.  It ended up being a beautiful two hour drive in a big figure-eight around where I live…guys, it was just what I needed and when I say beautiful, it was amazing *sigh*!!  The trees have not failed this fall to bring a tear to my eye with how beautiful they are!  They are all so vibrant, rich and colorful!  Even just around my home they are bright yellow, orange, and red and it makes my heart SO happy!  I drove around and just couldn’t help but smile the whole time; my windows down, my music on, and the perfect scenery surrounding me everywhere I turned…it was just so perfect.

Lord, I thank you for the time I got to spend exploring little roads right by my house and finding new places to watch sunsets and being able to witness your creation.  Father, I am in awe of what you have made!  Thank you for the eyes you’ve given me to see it and experience it!  There is so much beauty in this world, no matter the ugly, dirty, or darkness; Your light shines through always.  Thank you for the autumn weather, the cool breeze, the vibrant colors that make me feel so alive and excited and happy!  Truly, if there isn’t anything else to be happy about (which there is), seeing and being in your creation is enough.  Through what you’ve made you proclaim your power, ability, might, creativity, love, miracles, and so much more.  Help us to see the beauty in this world and in each other when things get ugly.  Allow us to help each other see the beauty in your creation and in your word and in your truth!  May we seek to be an example and light to those who cross our paths.  Open our minds and hearts to love, know, learn more, desire, and live for You, Lord!  Inspire us to live a life that reflects your grace, love, and magnificent glory!  I love you and thank you again for this day, the drive, the trees changing, and the promises that everything, no matter what happens, will be okay…there is no need to fear while we are in Christ, except for the power of God; may we respect and fear you, Lord, for you are capable of anything and everything!  It s in Jesus name I pray, Amen.

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Hello!  So, during these thankful posts I will be sorting out some other posts as well, and if you haven’t noticed, some days might pile up on each other depending on my schedule.  I’m going through pictures trying to re-organize them (and my whole life, really), so I’m excited to get things rolling on my photography blog as well.  I hope you are able to see and enjoy the beautiful changes during this autumn!!  I encourage you to take a drive, a walk, a road trip even, and soak it all up. ❤

Happy weekend!

Jenny~

Thankful #3: Truth

November 3rd, 2017…

I am so thankful for the truth!  I am so thankful for the freedom there is found in the truth!  There is no lie great enough that trumps the light of the truth, and light will be shed on the truth, no matter what.  “Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”.”-John 8:31-32

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Dear God, thank you for your truth!  For your word which is the truth, whole truth, and nothing but the truth!  You are so faithful in your word though truly you are serious about it as well.  Nothing is sugar-coated, and I am SO thankful for that!  No matter how we try to go about sugar-coating things; Lord may we be convicted of that and have the confidence and boldness to share your word exactly how it is written.  Thank you for the capacity of our feeble human minds!  The very thought that you have equipped us to be able to grasp even a little bit of your word is so amazing and I am so grateful to you for trusting me to read, learn, know, love, and share your precious word.  You are incredible and I love you!  I love you so much!  Thank you for your great, unfailing, love for us.  It is in your precious name I pray, Amen.

 

Jenny~

Thankful #2: Fellowship

November 2nd, 2017…

I am so thankful for my family and friends.  My family is my group of friends most of the time, but that’s easier said for me because I have five brothers and six sisters!  Truly I love that I can call my family my friends because, generally speaking, family is forever. ❤  I am thankful for each one of my siblings, and my parents, individually as well as together; it is the strongest team and support system.  Also I am so thankful for my friends who are not blood related.  Many have left and I’ve had to let go, but to those who have stayed…wow!  I am so thankful and grateful them and for their different perspectives, encouragement, support, advice, company, getting together, study, and all the other things that my family can possibly never offer!

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Thank you, sweet Jesus, for my family!  I thank you for my parents and for their guidance and love, for the freedom they have given me to follow the desires I have for the things I want to do in this life, and for their wisdom that allows me to humble myself in knowing there is so much road to travel in my life before I can declare to truly “get” or understand anything.  Thank you for my siblings, for the additions to our family, and for the future additions as well; I am thrilled to find out who gets to be a part of this family that I love.  I thank you for the friends throughout my life.   Thank you for those who have stayed as well as those who haven’t.  Thank you for the lessons I’ve learned from both parties and continue to learn more and more from.  I life up to you, Father, my family and friends, and Lord, I give them to you completely, for you are mighty to save, you love us ultimately, and you are the only one who can truly help any of us, protect us, and make us into who you created us to be.  May we all be inspired by each other to seek just that; who you created us to be and why you’ve put us on this earth, in each others lives.  You are magnificent!  I love you, Lord!!  Thank you again for these people I know and those I have yet to meet, for the fellowship they offer, and the life we get to experience together.  May the bonds of those meant to be become stronger and unbreakable, may we stand up, encourage and help each other, be faithful, true and accountable to one another, and not let our brothers and sisters isolate themselves no matter how uncertain, scary or hopeless life becomes.  Make us strong so we can shine brightly together for you!  Thank you.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

 

Jenny~

Thankfulness

Day 1 of 23 days of thanksgiving…

The next 23 days I will be giving thanks for things I am truly thankful for, and here I will share them.  It is important to realize the things we are thankful for and to remember the faithfulness of our God!  No matter what happens in opposition of what we want or think is best, He is faithful and works things out for our good.

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November 1st, 2017:

I am so thankful for God’s forgiveness!  No matter how difficult it has been to find the true humility to come to God with my sins, every day, and recognize how I’ve fallen short, every day, I know though it’s hard to fathom sometimes, that He loves me SO much and forgives me for being human, but also expects me to take the appropriate steps to recover and change and will assist me in doing so.

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Thank you, Lord, for your forgiveness!  Thank you for seeing my heart in the mire of the world around me.  Thank you for your Son who gave his very own, sinless, spotless, pure and perfect life for a very sin filled, dirty, impure and imperfect one.  Thank you for the compassion, grace, patience, love, and care you pour out on us, as well as the challenges, trials, and growth you discomfort we face to make us grow and change for the better.  Thank you for the security we have in Christ and for truth of your word and who you are!  Thank you for the plan and the path for my life; I have full faith that no matter which direction I go, you will meet me there and lead me to and from opportunities, experiences, people, places and things, and, Father, I ask that you lead me in truth, guide me in Your wisdom and knowledge, and help me on this journey to defeat my battles and change and grow to be as much like Christ as I can be and to do your will and share your love and truth with as many people as I can.  In all things I pray and ask that you protect those in my life from any way I could hurt them.  Allow me to see where I am wrong and humble admit it and seek out forgiveness where it is due.  Protect me from myself, Lord!  I can be my worst enemy.  Again, I thank you for your forgiveness; if you can forgive us then we should never be afraid of another persons ability or inability to forgive.  May we humble ourselves, love others, and strive to be more like you ever moment.  I love you, Father, and pray in Jesus name, Amen.

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UPDATE: Hello blog!  Long time no write, right?!  As always, my intentions are pure when it comes to composing blog posts and sharing life on this virtual platform, but that also takes brain power and time; two things I have not had enough discipline with.  Time management I’ve found is not an easy trait I have developed, and my brain has been very overwhelmed lately with life and quite honestly the thought of adding anything extra to have to think about hurts my brain, so!

Having this blog it has been a place for me to simply unload and just write and share things.  It has been a resource for myself mainly, not an outlet for many other to find and use.  I’ve used this blog as an outlet for documenting and discovering things about myself and life and I appreciate those who have followed along; thank you.

This year (which I cannot believe is almost over and do NOT look forward to getting any older if time passes any faster then this year has!) has been very interesting and very taxing and very emotional and very stretching.  I have learned so much about so many things, and I have SO MUCH ROOM TO GROW!!!  I’ve truly begun to learn that you never stop growing and learning and discovering, and it is a sad day if you ever get to the point where you think you’ve “got it all figured out”, because quite frankly my dear, you never truly will.  Even the very depth of your being you will most likely never fully grasp (which is why I am SO thankful God knows every inch of me and I can put complete trust in Him).  It is mind boggling, aggravating, and amazing how it all works.  Mind boggling at how vast, deep and wide life is and how small we are.  Aggravating for an analytical perfectionist like myself who wants all the answers and how to’s and doesn’t like to mess up.  Amazing that there is a God, the creator of heaven and earth, who knows everything and we truly do not have reason to fear, doubt, worry, or dwell on the past or future, even though that is what we do!  That is our flesh, fallen, human instinct and struggle.  Yo, the struggle is real!!

I encourage you hopefully by anything I’ve shared today, but mainly to seek out time to go to God this month leading up to Thanksgiving (appropriate, I know) and thank Him for all He has done!  For the sun and the moon, friends, family, books, food; whatever means something to you.  Dig deep and spend time in thanksgiving.

Also, I want to say with all that’s going on in my “battlefield of the mind” so to speak, that I am growing , learning and finally taking those steps to get out of my comfort and just be.  Just be present, honest, kind, true, loving, genuine, serious, emotional, excited for life, wise, decisive, positive, joyful in the Lord, encouraging, helpful, purposeful, and other things; one step at a time.  AND that it’s okay to move slow and take things one step at a time and that I will experience many uncomfortable things if I desire to grow and move forward, etc, so *gulp*, here I am, Lord.  I am yours. ❤

Blessings to you,

Jenny~